Affirmagy Blog

You know I truly believe that we get to create our lives. One of my favorite quotes is one by George Bernard Shaw:

“Life isn’t about finding yourself, its about creating yourself.”

I subscribe to the thought that we have the power to create whatever life that we choose, and the beginning part of that is sitting down and taking the time to think about what do we really want.

What do we want for ourselves?
What do we want for our families?
What do we want for our communities?

The moment we each ask ourselves what’s possible in our lives, something inside shifts and our minds starts looking around for the answer. “What IS possible for my life?”

This is fun part. Think BIG and BOLD and OUTRAGEOUS. Grant yourself the space to think in a totally new way. Forget what things look like now. IMAGINE what they could be.

In that moment, the magic starts.

Have you seen The Secret? It’s worth every minute. And as we more fully grasp the power of it’s message, and apply it to our lives (hint: we’re already doing it, we’re just not fully aware we are) we get to experience more of what we desire coming to us faster and faster. How cool is that? The Secret can purchased at www.thesecret.tv. Enjoy.

Do women and men differ when it comes to referrals?

While I don’t possess a man’s perspective on this, I can say with confidence women refer nearly as often as they breathe. No getting around it, it’s how we’re wired. I believe giving a powerful referral is an art worthy of thought and finesse. That said, some of us are just better at it that others. The good news is this is a skill you can acquire when you come at it from the right frame of mind: ‘what’s in it for them’.

Seth Godin, author of Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable shares great insight into referrals in his blog today. However, I have to disagree with his third point “the act of recommending you isn’t easy. It’s not easy to recommend a tailor to make your co-worker look a little less shabby. It’s not easy to bring up the fact that you have a great psychiatrist or even a particularly wonderful (but very expensive) shoe store.” Actually, for women it is easy to refer a tailor (or wardrobe consultant) to a colleague, we will brag about how great our therapist is, and shoes… well… we’re women for goodness sake. We know and we talk. Giving referrals - knowing who IS remarkable - is one way we build community. When we’re smart, we leverage this skill to grow our businesses, and build deep relationships.
So, with that, it’s my pleasure to refer to you Seth Godin. Read his books - you’ll come away with powerful insights and tools you can use!

Dancing around the internet, I recently came across the most delightful site. I have no idea who these folks are, but I sure like their thinking.

Enjoy: The Eight Principles of Fun!

The ease of doing business is in direct proportion to the size of my rolodex and the depth of my relationships. You want to grow your business? Call through your rolodex. You want to quantum leap your business? Expand your rolodex.

Be on the lookout for good people that you need in your sphere of influence.
When I am given a business card, I treat it like gold. One huge lesson I learned from a master networker was to keep a business card portfolio with me at all times with the 50 or 60 people I loved referring business too. Referring people is a great way to grow your business. It’s free, and it creates goodwill that will return to you for years to come.

Most of us do a pretty good job of thanking our customers… Or least we think we do. But do you ever thank your vendor partners?

As a small business we rely heavily on the work of others to get the job done. One of the smartest things I ever did (and I had no idea the impact it had until recently) was give a gift certificate to Amazon.com to Craig, the owner of CreativeTechs, the computer tech company we work with. I knew that he loved to listen to books on CD, so we thought this was a great way to thank and acknowledge him for the always serving us so well.

Computers are one of the main arteries in our business so CreativeTechs is vital member of our team. Over the years Craig, and I have become friends and he has helped me in countless ways to grow our company. While talking one afternoon he reminded me of the gift certificate we gave him and in his words said “that’s when I realized you were people I really wanted to deepen the business relationship with. I am impressed with how well you say ‘thank you.’

I think the gift certificate cost us $50. The relationship to this day: priceless.

One of my favorite things is going to seminars. I always take away a nugget (or a gold brick) of wisdom that I need. Mark Victor Hansen, Zig Ziglar, James Ray - all this guys have inspired me at one time or another. But I remember one experience very very vividly. It was the day I asked myself ‘why can’t I be on stage sharing what I am passionate about? How did these people get there?’.

Then ‘whap’ - I got it. They gave themselves permission to be up there. They asked for the opportunity, and they went for it. Ah-ha!

Within a year I found myself in front of 300 people, then 700 people doing of all things - asking for money! I gave myself permission to be stage, and the opportunity to speak at a fundraiser for my favorite non-profit showed up. Was I scared? Of course. Did it work out OK? Yes. We raised over $500,000 between two luncheons!

So, I ask you, what is possible for your life? What do you want for yourself, your family, your community?

I encourage you to take a few moments to ask yourself just that. Once you do you’ll be amazed at the opportunities that unfold!

As strongly as I feel about writing personal notes, this is a close second on the success scale.
Get in the habit of referring people powerfully. When I meet new people I genuinely think about who in my network would be a good fit for them and make a warm introduction. No “here’s a card, call these guys”. Rather I would take the time to personally connect them.

In my early 20’s I heard Zig Ziglar give a presentation and declare “to get what you want in life, help someone else get what they want”. I remember thinking ‘What? That’s crazy. I don’t have enough time to get me what I want, now I am supposed to help someone else?

Years later the light bulb went off. Zig is right. The goodwill and positive energy you create from a great referral will always comes back tenfold.

Pam and Rochelle of ChatWithWomen.com have joined our team in spreading the word about intentional living and the power of designing a life you love. Recently, we got a chance to sit down together and talk about it and Affirmawraps. Enjoy!

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Run for the hills if someone says ‘it’s just business”.
This is the ultimate tip off that person believes that they can treat you poorly, pay you late, and expect the moon and the stars because “it’s business”. I have yet to hear those words inside a win-win relationship.